Brabus 800 is a modified Mercedes-AMG GLE63 with 1,000Nm

“The Brabus 800 is the perfect choice for any terrain and any challenge!” shouts the online brochure for the German tuner’s latest hyper-modified SUV.

Hmm. Are you sure? There’s a reason that they don’t fit 24-inch forged rims and a carbon-fibre body kit to Dakar rally cars. 

We’ll allow Brabus a little exaggeration here. Because everything about this car, quite simply named ‘800’, is over the top. The looks. The attitude. And the power boost squeezed from the 4.0-litre bi-turbo V8. Go on, guess how much.

Correct: 800 horsepower. That’s 789bhp in old money. Somehow, the Mercedes-AMG GLE63’s nine-speed automatic gearbox is capable of handling that, and the 1,000Nm mountain of torque. That’s 1,000 newton metres, metric folks. Madness. A whopping 186bhp and 150Nm more than standard.

As a result, the 800 is dramatically quicker than a standard GLE63S.

Instead of taking a lazy 3.8 seconds to launch from 0-100kph, the Brabus sees off the sprint in just 3.4 seconds. But then, Brabus comes over all sensible and grown-up. Really. The top speed is limited to 280kph – identical to the factory Mercedes. 

And there’s more sensitivity. You can set a ‘Coming Home’ mode for the stainless steel exhaust so the quad pipes shut up shouting when you reach your neighbourhood. 

There you have it then. Perfect for any terrain or challenge, indeed.

Greenpeace company car? New Le Mans class winner? Next Popemobile? You heard it here first.